Bed views the last 2 mornings.
i don’t think i’ve ever been so jealous of anything in my life.
One of my favorite posts ever
I want this
More you might like
You don't want a parrot- you want domestic pigeons. Quieter, friendlier, untraumatized by mere human existence, less likely to remove a finger, can find their own way home if they get out, thousands of years of domestication in your favor, did I mention quieter?
Resources For Describing Physical Things
Setting
- Abandoned Mine
- Airplane
- Airport Check-in
- Alley
- Amusement Park
- Attic
- Bakery
- Bank
- Basement
- Bathroom (home)
- Barn
- *GE* Barn 2 (Dairy Focus)
- Beach
- Bedrooms
- Birthday Party
- Bonfire
- Bowling Alley
- Bridge
- Bookstore
- Cafeteria
- Casino
- *GE* Catacombs
- Cave
- Church
- City Park
- Classroom
- Closet
- Coffee House
- Courtroom
- Cruise Ship
- *GE* Cryogenic Sleep Chamber
- Daycare
- Desert
- Diner
- Dragonβs Lair
- Dungeon (Caution Graphic Description)
- *GE* Egyptian Pyramids
- Elevator
- Farms
- Forest
- Frozen Tundra
- Gallows
- Garage
- Garage Sale
- Garden
- Graveyard
- *GE* GLOBAL WARMING (dystopian)
- Grocery Store
- Halloween Party
- Haunted House
- Herbalist Shop (fantasy)
- High School Hallway
- Hospital
- Hotel Room
- House Fire
- House Party
- Kitchen
- *GE* Laboratory
- *GE* Laboratory (secret genetic)
- Lake
- Library
- Locker Room
- Meadow
- Medieval Castle Armory
- Medieval Marketplace
- Middle School Dance (informal)
- *GE* Mindscape (Mind Magic)
- Mountains
- Movie Theatre
- Night Club
- Nursery
- Ocean/Sea Bed
- Old Pick-Up Truck
- Pirate Ship
- Playground
- Pond
- Pool Hall
- Prison Cell
- Pub
- Public Pool (Outdoor)
- Rainforest/Jungle
- Ranch
- Restaurant
- River
- School Bus
- School Office
- Shopping Mall
- Sleep-Away Camp
- *GE* Spaceport
- *GE* Spaceship
- Stands at a Sporting Event
- Storm Sewer
- Subway Station
- Swamp
- Taxi cab
- Teacherβs Lounge
- Toolshed
- *GE* Trailer
- Treehouse
- *GE* Tropical Island City
- Urban Street
- Video Arcade
- Waiting Room
- Waterfall
- Water Slide Park
- Wedding Ceremony (Church)
- Woods at Night
- Zoo
Weather
- Air Pollution
- Avalanche
- Blizzard
- Breeze
- Clouds
- Dew
- Drought
- Dusk
- Dust or Sand Storm
- Earthquake
- Eclipse
- Fall
- Falling Star
- Flood
- Forest Fire
- Frost
- Hailstorm
- Heat Wave
- Hurricane/Typhoon
- Lightning
- Mirage
- Mist or Fog
- Moonlight
- Mudslide
- Rain
- Rainbow
- Sky
- Sleet
- Snow
- Spring
- Summer
- Sunrise
- Sunshine
- Sunset
- Thunderstorm
- Tornado
- Vortex
- Wind
- Winter
Color, Texture, & Shape
Color
Texture
- Bumpy
- Barbed/Spined
- Crackled
- Crumbly
- Crusty
- Foamy/Spongy
- Fuzzy
- Gritty
- Pitted
- Powdery
- Prickly
- Saw-edged/Serrated
- Slimy
- Smooth
- Sticky
Shape
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Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”
and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”
”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”
”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”
The human in the room looks up and goes "Wait I have stripes?"
"what do you mean cats can see them, but I can't?"
what do you fucking mean cats can see them
I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS
MY CAT THINKS I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!?
NO NO ITS NOT "IT THINKS I HAVE THEM"
BECAUSE WE DO APPARENTLY
SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED "MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!"
AND I THINK THATS A BIT WORSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST
MY CAT KNEW I HAD STRIPES BEFORE I DID?!?!?!?!?!?
I DIDNT THINK OF THAT
WELL I DID AND NOW I CANT UNTHINK IT
@beenovel @messiambrandybuck these are the variants
WHAT
apparently there's a disease where they become visable, and these are the most common kind??
Ngl it looks cool but???? I'm still in shock tbh
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PATTERN OF STRIPES I HAVE AND THE CATS WON'T TELL ME
I COULD HAVE A CHECKERBOARD ON MY BACK AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW???
They’re called Blaschko's lines!!!
The reverse can also be true ... kinda.
I remember reading somehwre the human eye can see more shades of green than any other colour. I just googled it and the human eye can see 10 Million different shades of green.
So human could see stripes and patterns on, say, a reptillian race who maybe can’t see as many colours as we do, and think they’re just one boring shade of green.
Human: We have stripes?! I wish I could see them. I hope they look like yours.
Reptile Alien: Wait, I HAVE STRIPES!
*mutual excitement all around*
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”
When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself.
How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”
I was done for the day.
This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.
I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”
I did not find my husband in this way.
In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”
“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.
The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)
Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.
I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English.
When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.
“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”
“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”
Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG
My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…
I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.
That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.
Best thing is, everyone understood what I meant.
I love those stories so much…
Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.
She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.
American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)
Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)
that’s hilarious
I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY
Does everyone know the prime minister who promised to fuck the country?
So in Biblical Hebrew the word for penis and weapon are the same. There is a verb meaning to arm, which modern Hebrew semanticly drifted into “fuck”: i.e. give someone your dick.
The minister was making a speech while a candidate, bemoning the state of the world. “The Soviet Union is fucking Egypt. Germany is fucking Syria. The Americans are fucking everyone. But who is fucking us? When I am prime minister, I will ensure we are fucked!”
What the hell Biblical Hebrew.
Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.
^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one.
Oh yeah and one time my Latin professor was at this conference in Greece and his flight was canceled, so he needed to extend his hotel stay by one more night.
Except he doesn’t speak a lick of modern Greek, and the receptionist couldn’t speak English. Or French. Or German. Or Italian. (He tried all of them.)
Finally, in a fit of inspiration, he went upstairs and got his copy of Medea in the original Greek (you know, the stuff separated from modern Greek by two and a half thousand years). He found the passage where Medea begs Jason to let her stay for one more day, went downstairs, and read it to the receptionist.
She laughed her head off, but she gave him the extra night.
Reblogged just for Medea
The way I have to find anything on this website. Hair the color of bread, me, 2016.
Around 2013 or so I was in the EU for work at a big international conference. There was a late night event (ok so we all went out on the town fine) and the following morning we all wearily met up for breakfast.
Mind you we were a group of people representing no less than 20 countries and every one of us (myself included) spoke more than 2 languages (not a typo).
We are all discussing what to eat and at some point we all collectively forgot the word for “omelette” in ANY language. Like standing around describing the dish, how to prepare it, and various ingredients to the staff in great detail - while they tried to keep a straight face. Until they pointed at a placard showing what they offered right in front of our faces in multiple languages.
Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block
βWhereβs the next chapter?!β Well buddy youβre never gonna guess
What’s the comic sans trick?
wingdings' true purpose as a font
Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.
Other fantasy fans: I’d like to read this series you keep mentioning but I’m a bit worried about gatekeeping.
Discworld fans, slamming 41 books onto the table: Now, these books can be read in almost any order, but you are under no obligation to read all of them if you don’t want to. Would you like a list of recommendations? I have some reading charts if you want a visual guide. Here’s a hard-drive with all of the audio books on file. Or I can read you a section of a book each night over video-call? What’s the best way to help you enjoy this series?-
bunjywunjy
